Friday, September 5, 2014

If You Think Fast Food Workers Should Earn $15 An Hour...You Might Be Stupid

The impetus for this argument is twofold, so I'll begin with the less egregious of the two.  A couple of weeks ago, someone I know posted to their Facebook feed something to the effect of "Raise the minimum wage to $10.10 an hour.  If Congress earned minimum wage, they'd make the change right away."

The one part of that argument that I like is paying Congress the minimum wage.  However, raising the minimum wage itself is a ridiculously stupid idea, as we'll discuss below.

The second portion of the argument has been unfolding across the country over the last couple of days as fast food workers have walked out on their jobs, while demanding that they be paid $15 an hour.  Extrapolated out over a full year, assuming (and yes, given the current climate, I understand that is a lot to assume) that is a salary of $31,200, or just $6,000 less a year than a full-time, licensed teacher earns in Florida, MA.

Consider that for a moment:  to be a licensed teacher in the Commonwealth of MA*, it is necessary to have completed at the very minimum a Bachelors Degree.  Within 5 years, it is required that you attain your Masters Degree, just to maintain your license and job.

What are the job requirements (in most communities) to be a fast food restaurant employee?  To have absolutely, positively no skills whatsoever.  It probably doesn't hurt if you're between the ages of 15-21, and you're on your first job.

I don't need a fancy economics degree, and I don't even have to cite all of the fancy economic arguments to explain why paying fast food restaurant workers $15 an hour is a baaaaaaaaaaad idea.  It's really this simple:  When the most important part of your job description is being able to mouth the words "Do you want fries with that?", you're easily replaced.  I could teach my 4 year old nephew to run a cash register in about 2 minutes, and if he had a tall enough stool, he could make the burgers and fries, too.  He'd also work for all the chicken nuggets he could eat and chocolate milkshakes he could drink (about 3 and 1), and he'd consider himself coming out ahead of the game in that exchange.

Fast food restaurants are not designed to be a career option to raise a family of 4 on.  In fact, they're not designed to do much more than give someone enough experience to move along and get a different, slightly better paying job, so that the restaurant can hire a new minimum wage employee and cycle through the process again.  Restaurant chains are in business to create cash flow for their owners/stock holders, not to enrich unskilled laborers to the point that they would easily be within the top 5% of wage earners in the world.  Fast food jobs are not intended to be careers, though it is not so difficult to move up the ladder in a fast food job if you apply yourself.

I knew someone when I was in high school who started at McDonald's in his junior year just working part-time to earn some spending money (what minimum wage jobs are intended for.)  Within a year of his high school graduation, he had already been made a store manager, qualified for a company car and stock options (he wasn't old enough to take either one, though) and had a salary of $40,000 a year or so.  He got to that point by being a dependable, competent worker who put in his time.  The workers rioting in the streets across the nation have not.  They are a bunch of lazy, self-entitled schmucks.

Further, and this is important, your jobs are not necessary.  If you think that McDonald's or Wendy's or any other chain restaurant does not have the resources to fully automate 99% of their needs, you're sorely mistaken.  There is at least one chain in the South where customers place their order Jetsons'-style, and simply pay the cashier the money, which is a position that could also be eliminated.  Many food stores in the area already have self-pay checkouts, the technology isn't even that cutting edge.  Vending machines have been around for decades now.

So perhaps instead of taking to the streets to demand wages you can't justify, take a night class.  Learn a trade besides fry-o-lator.  Improve yourselves in some small way.  Stop simply taking from others because politicians need a campaign issue to run on.  Your life situation is a product of the decisions you've made, no one else.  Poor life decisions are something that can be corrected, however, dumping copious piles of cash on top of them usually results in failure.